DMT - DiMethylTryptamine - Meet the 'Machine Elves
16-07-2005, 11:33 AM
WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN
---------------------------------------
To those of us who have children in our lives,
whether they are our own, grandchildren,
nieces, nephews, or students...here is
something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control,
you can take comfort from the thought that
even God's omnipotence did not extend
to His own children After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said
was "DON'T!"
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit?
Hey Eve...we have Forbidden fruit!!!!!"
"No Way!"
"Yes way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
"Why"
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God! replied,
wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after
making the elephants. A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break
and He was ticked!
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?" said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it!" Adam said
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"DID NOT!"
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was
that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
If you have pe rsistently and lovingly tried to give children
wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself
If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it
would be a piece of cake for you?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them
to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them
to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3 Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually
repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to
remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your nursing home.
AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION
AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS
ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN"
AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN
-----------------------------------------------------------
PS:
NO IDea Johnny Howard can STICK HIS ID CARD
where the sun doesn't shine, we'll never be a Slave to
a plastic card, FORCED to carry it everywhere we go,
24/7.
It will do NOTHING to prevent terrorism,
it's a CON & only the gullible will fall for it.
REMEMBER THIS ALWAYS:
If we lose our simple freedoms,
then the terrorists have already won.
Screw the 'Big Brother' control freaks
and to Hitler-Howards 'Police State' -
- Piss Off You Evil Manipulative Bastards,
We are NOT your Slaves ( YET ).
-----------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------
To those of us who have children in our lives,
whether they are our own, grandchildren,
nieces, nephews, or students...here is
something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control,
you can take comfort from the thought that
even God's omnipotence did not extend
to His own children After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said
was "DON'T!"
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit?
Hey Eve...we have Forbidden fruit!!!!!"
"No Way!"
"Yes way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
"Why"
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God! replied,
wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after
making the elephants. A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break
and He was ticked!
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?" said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it!" Adam said
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"DID NOT!"
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was
that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
If you have pe rsistently and lovingly tried to give children
wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself
If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it
would be a piece of cake for you?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them
to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them
to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3 Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually
repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to
remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your nursing home.
AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION
AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS
ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN"
AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN
-----------------------------------------------------------
PS:
NO IDea Johnny Howard can STICK HIS ID CARD
where the sun doesn't shine, we'll never be a Slave to
a plastic card, FORCED to carry it everywhere we go,
24/7.
It will do NOTHING to prevent terrorism,
it's a CON & only the gullible will fall for it.
REMEMBER THIS ALWAYS:
If we lose our simple freedoms,
then the terrorists have already won.
Screw the 'Big Brother' control freaks
and to Hitler-Howards 'Police State' -
- Piss Off You Evil Manipulative Bastards,
We are NOT your Slaves ( YET ).
-----------------------------------------------------------