OT: Offensive joke of te day

[Ext User(Sir Lex)]

Chinese couple gets married - she's a virgin. Truth be told, he is not
too experienced either.

On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband
undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring "My
darring" he says, "I know dis yo firss time and you berry frighten. I
pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss anyting you
want. Whatchou want?" he says, trying to sound experienced, which he
hopes will impress his virgin bride.

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for
her request. She eventually replies shyly and unsure, "I want to try
somethin I have heard about . numbaa 69"

More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled
tone he queries:

"You want... Beef wiff brack bean sauce?"


:-D

SL.

[Ext User(Uncle Bully)]

"Sir Lex" <SL@no-spam.com.au> wrote in message
news:43a63555$1@mail.netspeed.com.au...
> Chinese couple gets married - she's a virgin. Truth be told, he is not too
> experienced either.
>
> On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband
> undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring "My
> darring" he says, "I know dis yo firss time and you berry frighten. I
> pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss anyting you
> want. Whatchou want?" he says, trying to sound experienced, which he
> hopes will impress his virgin bride.

Why would a Chinese person speak to another Chinese person in broken
English?

>
> A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her
> request. She eventually replies shyly and unsure, "I want to try somethin
> I have heard about . numbaa 69"
>
> More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone
> he queries:
>
> "You want... Beef wiff brack bean sauce?"

[Ext User(John Henderson)]

Uncle Bully wrote:

> Why would a Chinese person speak to another Chinese person in
> broken English?

Incommensurable dialects.

John

[Ext User(John_H)]

Uncle Bully wrote:
>
>"Sir Lex" <SL@no-spam.com.au> wrote in message
>news:43a63555$1@mail.netspeed.com.au...
>>
>> On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband
>> undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring "My
>> darring" he says, "I know dis yo firss time and you berry frighten. I
>> pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss anyting you
>> want. Whatchou want?" he says, trying to sound experienced, which he
>> hopes will impress his virgin bride.
>
>Why would a Chinese person speak to another Chinese person in broken
>English?

He probably speaks Cantonese -- they're the ones who use numbers for
the menu items.

She could be Mandarin -- which might as well be double Dutch (to a
Cantonese)... at least that's what they tell me. :)

--
John H

[Ext User(Uncle Bully)]

"John_H" <john4271@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:uiocq1lskhm6me3o0sqhdhc9lsm5no34bq@4ax.com...
> Uncle Bully wrote:
>>
>>"Sir Lex" <SL@no-spam.com.au> wrote in message
>>news:43a63555$1@mail.netspeed.com.au...
>>>
>>> On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband
>>> undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring "My
>>> darring" he says, "I know dis yo firss time and you berry frighten. I
>>> pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss anyting you
>>> want. Whatchou want?" he says, trying to sound experienced, which he
>>> hopes will impress his virgin bride.
>>
>>Why would a Chinese person speak to another Chinese person in broken
>>English?
>
> He probably speaks Cantonese -- they're the ones who use numbers for
> the menu items.
>
> She could be Mandarin -- which might as well be double Dutch (to a
> Cantonese)... at least that's what they tell me. :)

Is that the same way they tell you that it really is chicken?

[Ext User(David Springthorpe)]

On Mon, 19 Dec 2005 18:11:19 +1100, "Uncle Bully"
<wakeupcall@optushome.com.au.Remove> put finger to keyboard and
contributed the following:

>Why would a Chinese person speak to another Chinese person in broken
>English?

It was a JOKE, Joyce - you don't need to analyse inconsequential
points regarding it....

[Ext User(Uncle Bully)]

"David Springthorpe" <david.springthorpe@idx.com.au> wrote in message
news:urrcq1dkk67b89pru2r80u7oiair5unjh0@4ax.com...
> On Mon, 19 Dec 2005 18:11:19 +1100, "Uncle Bully"
> <wakeupcall@optushome.com.au.Remove> put finger to keyboard and
> contributed the following:
>
>>Why would a Chinese person speak to another Chinese person in broken
>>English?
>
> It was a JOKE, Joyce - you don't need to analyse inconsequential
> points regarding it....

Oh, a joke... Aren't they meant to be funny?

[Ext User(David Springthorpe)]

On Mon, 19 Dec 2005 19:41:02 +1100, "Uncle Bully"
<wakeupcall@optushome.com.au.Remove> put finger to keyboard and
contributed the following:

>Oh, a joke... Aren't they meant to be funny?

We can all only gloat at the fact you apparently have no discernable
sense of humour, or was the joke not PC enough for you.....?

[Ext User(Smee R11S)]

David Springthorpe wrote:
> On Mon, 19 Dec 2005 19:41:02 +1100, "Uncle Bully"
> <wakeupcall@optushome.com.au.Remove> put finger to keyboard and
> contributed the following:
>
>> Oh, a joke... Aren't they meant to be funny?
>
> We can all only gloat at the fact you apparently have no discernable
> sense of humour, or was the joke not PC enough for you.....?
groan inducing, predictable but not funny.

[Ext User(FruitLoop)]

"Uncle Bully" <wakeupcall@optushome.com.au.Remove> wrote in message
news:43a65d19$0$18197$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.a u...
>
> "Sir Lex" <SL@no-spam.com.au> wrote in message
> news:43a63555$1@mail.netspeed.com.au...
> > Chinese couple gets married - she's a virgin. Truth be told, he is not
too
> > experienced either.
> >
> > On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband
> > undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring "My
> > darring" he says, "I know dis yo firss time and you berry frighten. I
> > pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss anyting you
> > want. Whatchou want?" he says, trying to sound experienced, which he
> > hopes will impress his virgin bride.
>
> Why would a Chinese person speak to another Chinese person in broken
> English?

Its been converted to english , i would say .

>
> >
> > A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for
her
> > request. She eventually replies shyly and unsure, "I want to try
somethin
> > I have heard about . numbaa 69"
> >
> > More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled
tone
> > he queries:
> >
> > "You want... Beef wiff brack bean sauce?"
>
>
>
>
>

[Ext User(David Springthorpe)]

On 19 Dec 2005 10:00:01 +0100, Smee R11S <me@there.net> put finger to
keyboard and contributed the following:

>groan inducing.....

The best jokes sometimes are.....

[Ext User(Moses Lim)]

David Springthorpe wrote:

> On Mon, 19 Dec 2005 18:11:19 +1100, "Uncle Bully"
> <wakeupcall@optushome.com.au.Remove> put finger to keyboard and
> contributed the following:
>
>>Why would a Chinese person speak to another Chinese person in broken
>>English?
>
> It was a JOKE, Joyce - you don't need to analyse inconsequential
> points regarding it....

Actually, I found the analysis of the inconsequential points funnier than
the joke itself - but then that's me :)

[Ext User(Charlie)]

Uncle Bully wrote:

> Oh, a joke... Aren't they meant to be funny?

not to everyone, just to some.

Charlie

[Ext User(John Henderson)]

Moses Lim wrote:

> David Springthorpe wrote:
>
>> On Mon, 19 Dec 2005 18:11:19 +1100, "Uncle Bully"
>> <wakeupcall@optushome.com.au.Remove> put finger to keyboard
>> and contributed the following:
>>
>>>Why would a Chinese person speak to another Chinese person in
>>>broken English?
>>
>> It was a JOKE, Joyce - you don't need to analyse
>> inconsequential points regarding it....
>
> Actually, I found the analysis of the inconsequential points
> funnier than the joke itself - but then that's me :)

It's not just you, many of us enjoy taking part in the mock
straight-faced discussion which follows.

John

[Ext User(Sir Lex)]

Uncle Bully wrote:
> "Sir Lex" <SL@no-spam.com.au> wrote in message
> news:43a63555$1@mail.netspeed.com.au...
>
>>Chinese couple gets married - she's a virgin. Truth be told, he is not too
>>experienced either.
>>
>>On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband
>>undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring "My
>>darring" he says, "I know dis yo firss time and you berry frighten. I
>>pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss anyting you
>>want. Whatchou want?" he says, trying to sound experienced, which he
>>hopes will impress his virgin bride.
>
>
> Why would a Chinese person speak to another Chinese person in broken
> English?
>
>

The joke must've been written by an American movie director.

[Ext User(Moses Lim)]

John Henderson wrote:

> Moses Lim wrote:
>
>> David Springthorpe wrote:
>>
>>> On Mon, 19 Dec 2005 18:11:19 +1100, "Uncle Bully"
>>> <wakeupcall@optushome.com.au.Remove> put finger to keyboard
>>> and contributed the following:
>>>
>>>>Why would a Chinese person speak to another Chinese person in
>>>>broken English?
>>>
>>> It was a JOKE, Joyce - you don't need to analyse
>>> inconsequential points regarding it....
>>
>> Actually, I found the analysis of the inconsequential points
>> funnier than the joke itself - but then that's me :)
>
> It's not just you, many of us enjoy taking part in the mock
> straight-faced discussion which follows.

Cripes, you mean the whole thread is NOT REAL?? Damned!!! I was all set to
discuss the sociological implications of humour within the context of an
automotive theme with specific reference to the cultural dynamics of a
multicultural society :)

Gawd, pls don't ask me how I was gonna make all them associations cos I
don't have a frigging clue!!!!

[Ext User(David Springthorpe)]

On Mon, 19 Dec 2005 23:24:26 GMT, Moses Lim
<hyspeed@no.particular.place> put finger to keyboard and contributed
the following dubious and highly suspect comments :

>Cripes, you mean the whole thread is NOT REAL?? Damned!!! I was all set to
>discuss the sociological implications of humour within the context of an
>automotive theme with specific reference to the cultural dynamics of a
>multicultural society :)

You're supposed to include a mention of "post-modernism" as well.....

>Gawd, pls don't ask me how I was gonna make all them associations cos I
>don't have a frigging clue!!!!

[Ext User(hippo)]

David Springthorpe wrote:

>You're supposed to include a mention of "post-modernism" as well.....

Isn't that where they they drop the CT110 and put the poor posties on nore
up to date bikes? (and yes I know they're practical Ethel) Cheers

[Ext User(MikL)]

"Moses Lim" <hyspeed@no.particular.place> wrote in message
news:KiHpf.60400$V7.2272@news-server.bigpond.net.au...
> Cripes, you mean the whole thread is NOT REAL?? Damned!!! I was all set to
> discuss the sociological implications of humour within the context of an
> automotive theme with specific reference to the cultural dynamics of a
> multicultural society :)

Please don't hold back -- with existentialism, it doesn't matter whether
it's real or not.

But then, perhaps you don't actually exist. Or aus.cars is a figment of my
imagination. Or yours.