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Because I said so.

Bloggers just need to grow up!

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I mean look at me for God's sake. I'm 37 years old and I still think that the light sabres are the coolest thing that's ever happened.
I really don't want to know that they're not real, because they are, or that it isn't an economically viable to build such a thing, because it is.
I'd like to buy a light sabre, but the thing about doing so that concerns me, since they cost so much... not yet being invented and everything, is that I really don't know how to use one. I have no real training with swords at all, as a matter of fact, and I have no delusions that I'd be sliced into bite size peices if I tried to engage a well practice person with nothing more than kung fu movies to draw upon. Give me a pool stick though, and I can kick arse in ways that most people don't know exist... it's so simple that you don't even have to practice more than once. It looks cool too. They guy who tought me my pool stick/small staff fighting abilities would be able to put me down as easily as well trained ancient Chinamen bounce accross water, but as far as most of the populaton is concerned, you wouldn't want to come at me with a stick if I had one in my hand as well.

Back on the topic of light sabres, my concern is that... well first I should point out that despite not having any formal training, the force does run stong with me. Regardless of this, though, it seems like learning to face gunfire with nothing more than a light sabre is something that needs to be learned at a very young age. The psychology behind learning to be that skilled at my current age... it just seems inprobable that I could let go and trust myself enough to fend off bullets, and I'm just talking a single handgun here... don't get me started about my anxieties concerning machine guns or multiple attackers.

I've always wondered if light sabres had an on/off switch or if you just used the force to turn them on and off. It seems like Yoda would have been good enough to kick bach in his high chair while fighting someone with a floating light sabre. When I get mine, I'd like it to have a switch that I toggle using the force because having the thing coming on while its pointed at my crotch would really suck. Also, I think I'll prefer a carbon fibre case and use fibre optics instead of wires. I'll also have to a non-metallic power source. The idea is to have a completely non-metallic light sabre so I don't have to be bothered with doing jedi mind tricks left and right with all the new airport security... traveling long distances can be tired and I'd rather not be bothered with having to stay on the ball manipulating everyone from point A to all the places in between there and my destination. Also you never know when you're going to run into someone who the Jedi mind trick doesn't work on, and to be honest there's some people I haven't really sussed out yet, for example I've never met an Eskimo and I don't want to have to hack people up at security because some jerk is like "Jedi mind tricks do not work on Eskimos!" There's also not really anywhere to go once you've been on video killing people with a glow stick. You can't just hop in a space ship and be on another planet 15 minutes later. You make world news here on Earth and you're ****ed.

More to the point about bloggers needing to grow up, I think the best argument for this is that many of them are young. Take this guy for example... he's only 17. He goes by the username "Jesus" on another forum and sport a Penguin Liberation Front avatar. I don't really care about either of these things, and afterall he is indeed young, which is kind of my point I guess. I just feel that he should have to be older in order to start a blog, especially if he's going to heaviy advertise it in his signature, because what ends up happening on a greater scale on the web is lots of content like this which I also pulled from his page. This, by the way, would have been an acceptable video if drugs were involved, but there weren't any. He did state feeling high as a result of having typed a lot. I wish I could get that sort of effect

Yeah so my point is that people like me just need to grow the hell up, and if this "Jesus" guy is a brilliant example of why. I actually feel sorry for the guy more than anything though. It really seems like symptoms of real loneliness and pathological something or other than anything else, but I felt I should single someone out after the personal illustration of light sabre obsession.


  1. tazwegion's Avatar
    FYI Lightsabres are cool!

    At least that might explain people's fascination with tightly focused extreme high output torches/flashlights & lasers

  2. MeanDean's Avatar
    Yes they are. They're incredibly cool... I was going to make the point using my My Little Pony collection but I was too embarrassed
  3. tazwegion's Avatar
    Little pony collection? sorry too geeky for me... I only collected Star Wars figurines as a kid
  4. walli's Avatar
    My Li-ttle Pony, I love my li-ttle pony... I brush and comb her hair

    That was really hard, trying to work out where to put the hyphen
  5. MeanDean's Avatar
    It worked well. Lit-tle doesn't look right.