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Thread: Jokes

  1. #7781

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    What's the difference between JFK, Mahatma Gandhi, Treyvon Martin and George Zimmerman?

    Zimmerman dodged a bullet
    sig removed.

  2. #7782
    whizzfizz's Avatar
    whizzfizz is offline Winner - Funniest Member Award 2009 Committed forum member

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    I called 000 for an ambulance today.

    "What seems to be the problem?" asked the operator.

    "I stumped my toe on the coffee table." I replied.

    "And you want an ambulance for that?" he laughed.

    I said, "No, it's for my wife, she shouldn't have laughed."
    It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

  3. #7783
    HoundsOfLove's Avatar
    HoundsOfLove is offline Sole Travel Consultant to 'The Radiators'. I said 'The Radiators'. Google them.
    2007 Winner - The special and somewhat scary Radical Roadie Award.
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    What do you call a camel with no humps.....Humphrey
    Radiators Rock

  4. #7784
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    whizzfizz is offline Winner - Funniest Member Award 2009 Committed forum member

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    I see your jokes are still bad


    Quote Originally Posted by HoundsOfLove View Post
    What do you call a camel with no humps.....Humphrey
    It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

  5. #7785
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    might be bad, but still one i can tell the kids
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Tuesday is hotter than any sheep I know.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

  6. #7786
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    whizzfizz is offline Winner - Funniest Member Award 2009 Committed forum member

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Smelly View Post
    might be bad, but still one i can tell the kids
    You sure the kids are yours ?
    It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

  7. #7787
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    whizzfizz is offline Winner - Funniest Member Award 2009 Committed forum member

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    My girlfriend is a porn star.

    She is going to be so mad when she finds out.
    It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

  8. #7788
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    whizzfizz is offline Winner - Funniest Member Award 2009 Committed forum member

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    Some girl at the gym tonight asked me if I thought she was wearing too much make-up.

    I said it depended on whether she was going to kill Batman or not.
    It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

  9. #7789

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    I got a text message from my wife earlier that read, "I'm lying in bed waiting for you."

    I texted back, "I'd love a shag, babe, but I'm stuck in work."

    She replied, "You forgot I'm having surgery today, didn't you?"
    sig removed.

  10. #7790

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    I finally confronted my neighbour Hassan about why he worships a black child molester that's been dead for ages.

    I was getting pretty sick of hearing "Billie Jean" blasting through my walls at all hours.
    sig removed.

  11. #7791
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    whizzfizz is offline Winner - Funniest Member Award 2009 Committed forum member

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    My wife sent me a text last week:

    'When you get home from work I'm going to strip naked and do a sexy dance for you'

    So far I have accumulated 94 hours overtime.
    It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

  12. #7792

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    The biggest Knight at the Round table was always Sir Cumference, as he often ate too much Pi.
    New Printer Ink & Toner Cartridges 50-80% off, via my eBay: http://goo.gl/9qbnBc

  13. #7793
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    Quote Originally Posted by whizzfizz View Post
    You sure the kids are yours ?
    hahahaha
    Catch your dreams before they slip away.

  14. #7794

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    Paddy is in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet. “What the hell you doing?” he asks.
    “Hanging myself” Paddy replies. “It should be around your neck” says the Guard.
    “I know” says Paddy “but I couldn’t breathe”
    I support Kids with Cancer Foundation, www.kidswithcancer.org.au

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