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Thread: Jokes

  1. #61
    whizzfizz's Avatar
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    3 brothers were sitting around one day chatting about their “prowess in the sack”. The first brother said, “I can do it 3 times per night and in the morning my wife says ohhhhhh Jim your such a wonderful lover”

    The second brother say “ I can do it 5 times per night and in the morning my girlfriend says ohhhhhhhhhhhh Tony you are the most amazing man alive”

    They both turned to the third brother and said.. “well how about you ?”

    the 3rd brother turned and looked at em and said “just once per night”

    They both sat there pointed at the 3rd brother and larfed their guts out. When they contained themselves they asked.. “well ok.. what does she say in the morning”

    And the third brother replied






    Don’t stop!

  2. #62
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    LOL You have a million...

    However, I have a joke too... (Roughly translated from a JC movie)

    ------------------

    Two Jewish parents are awaiting the arrival of their daughter with her new fiancee. As she comes out of the airport, she is accompanied by a 8 foot zulu warrior with a bone through his nose.

    The parents look at her in disguist and say:
    "You Idiot! I said a Rich Doctor!"


    -------------
    Now, as a side note, anyone know which movie it's from?

  3. #63
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    A man goes into a cafe and sits down. A waitress comes to take his order, and he asks her, "What's the special of the day?"

    "Chilli," she says, "but the gentleman next to you got the last bowl."

    The man says he'll just have coffee, and the waitress goes to fetch it. As he waited, he noticed the man next to him was eating a full lunch and the bowl of chilli remained uneaten.

    "Are you going to eat your chilli?" he asked.

    "No, help yourself," replied his neighbour.

    The man picked up a spoon and eagerly began devouring the chilli. When he got halfway through the bowl, he noticed the body of a decaying rat full of maggots in the bottom of the bowl. Sickened, he puked the chilli he had just eaten back into the bowl.

    The man sitting next to him says,












    "Yeah, that's as far as I got too."

  4. #64
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    Ok Watcher you tie up Whizzy and I will get the gun ready.
    Radiators Rock

  5. #65
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    Originally posted by HoundsOfLove
    Ok Watcher you tie up Whizzy and I will get the gun ready.

    if ya gonna tie me up make sure ya use nylon ribbons.. it feels good on the skin.

    errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr so i have heard
    *ahem*

  6. #66
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    Originally posted by whizzfizz
    if ya gonna tie me up make sure ya use nylon ribbons.. it feels good on the skin

    errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr so i have heard
    *ahem*
    Always knew you were a bit of a deviet (is that how you spell it?)
    lol.
    Radiators Rock

  7. #67
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    Originally posted by HoundsOfLove
    Ok Watcher you tie up Whizzy and I will get the gun ready.
    Oh dear .... Hounds said the G-Word..

  8. #68
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    Originally posted by HoundsOfLove
    Always knew you were a bit of a deviet (is that how you spell it?)
    lol.
    be quiet norty, ya giving away all my secrets

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    Always knew you were a bit of a deviet (is that how you spell it?)
    lol.


    My dear friend, it's "deviot"! glad to be of service old chap!

  10. #70
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    Originally posted by JamesBond007


    My dear friend, it's "deviot"! glad to be of service old chap!

    hehehe... hey Houndster.. OLD CHAP!!!!!
    is there something ya not telling us Houndsy ??

  11. #71
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    Originally posted by whizzfizz
    hehehe... hey Houndster.. OLD CHAP!!!!!
    is there something ya not telling us Houndsy ??
    LOL. She's packing sausage!!!

    J/k

  12. #72
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    Originally posted by MrMacabre
    LOL. She's packing sausage!!!

    J/k
    Proberly a lot more than your packing Macky
    Radiators Rock

  13. #73
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    Originally posted by HoundsOfLove
    Proberly a lot more than your packing Macky
    Yes, 'proberly' indeed

  14. #74
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    UMmmmm MAaaaa!!!!!!!!!

    you two are sooooooooo rood

    *whizzy covers his sweet innocent eyes to avoid corruption*

  15. #75
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    Originally posted by whizzfizz
    *whizzy covers his sweet innocent eyes to avoid corruption*
    Sweet, Innocent eyes?

    That's probably the funniest joke we've heard from you thus far!!!

  16. #76
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    I have to agree with Macky, you dont fool us Whizzy.
    Radiators Rock

  17. #77
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    Originally posted by HoundsOfLove
    I have to agree with Macky, you dont fool us Whizzy.
    Ten minutes ago she was questioning my manhood, now she's agreeing with me?!

  18. #78
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    Originally posted by MrMacabre
    Ten minutes ago she was questioning my manhood, now she's agreeing with me?!

    your a man ??????
    wooooo dood talk about learning something new everyday

  19. #79
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    Originally posted by whizzfizz
    your a man ??????
    wooooo dood talk about learning something new everyday
    Kids, here is a perfect example of why Drugs are Bad

    Delusions are common and constant. Especially the one where Whizzfizz actually thinks people find him funny

  20. #80

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    Originally posted by MrMacabre
    Kids, here is a perfect example of why Drugs are Bad
    I think that's my que ... That reminds me of a joke


    Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court on Friday before the judge. The judge said: "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."

    Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one: "How did you do over the weekend?"

    "Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."

    "17 people? That's wonderful! What did you tell them?"

    "I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this:"

    O o

    "...and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs."

    "That's admirable!" said the judge. To the second boy the judge said: "And you, how did you do?"

    "Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."

    "156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that!"

    "Well, I used a similar approach. I draw two circles...

    O o

    "...and said (pointing to the small circle) this is your asshole before prison...”
    Last edited by layeggs; 14-11-2002 at 03:25 AM.
    I wish I had a dollar for everytime I put my two cents worth because then I'd be $0.98 richer...

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